we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
