Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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