covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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