thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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