then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
