All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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