Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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