i jhust puked up my retainher.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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