i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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