i may or may not be watching the land before time
Farmville is her only friend.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
