in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
