I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
now i know why i became what i already was.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
