did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
