Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
