When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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