So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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