Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
