We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
