What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize