I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
