are you still at the devil's house?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
