Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
