i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
