she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
