Sry I called you an 8
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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