I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
