So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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