just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
