if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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