there's paper in my vomit.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
