there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
