After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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