Already got asked if we're dating
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
