Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
