Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We had to coat check the pizza.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
