I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
did i just pee glitter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
