I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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