weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
