wakey wakey hands off snakey
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
