my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
