she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
