This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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