why didn't you poke me back
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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