Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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