Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
