Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
