He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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