I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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