why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
