try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
