she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
