He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
