I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
