we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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