she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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