So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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