he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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