they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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