I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
