Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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