I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
