i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
