she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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