I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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